Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Kicking my life into gear!

I know I haven't posted in a REALLY long time. I'm sorry for that. I felt like posting today because I have been in a slightly down mood lately. I have been having a lot of anxiety and been under a lot of stress. I have decided to kick my butt into gear and not take the easy way out of life. I am going to start working out daily and not using not being able to go to the gym as a way out. I have plenty of options at home. DUH!

What I mainly wanted this post to be about was friends. I came across this quote today and it really sung to my heart:
" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
- Arabian Proverb
 I thought had a friend like that. But I was wrong. I need to find one who will truely be there for me. One that is happy for me when I succeed and build me up with an annoyingly cheesy pep talk when I don't. haha. I have found that in the love of my life. He is the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. I am truly happy with him.
But there are just some things in life that a significant other just can't fulfill. I need girl time with my best girl friend. Someone that can live up to what I thought she was. It makes me sad that I feel like calling her up and saying I'm sorry. But I'm sorry can't fix what we have done. Nothing can. They say that time heals everything. Not this. :(

But! It's time to pick my head up and get out there. Surround myself with love and positive people. I got a job where I get exactly that. The people there can make laugh like no other. I almost peed myself at my last shift. It's amazing what a simple job can do for you mood and self-esteem. I work wheelchairs at the airport. I get to meet so many nice people who I can hear what there life is about and get some great advice. I love meeting new people. Especially the elderly because they have so much life experience to share.
AHHH I love being alive.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Stolen Goodbye

My great-grandpa died a few days ago. It really hit me hard. It was his time to go but it still kind of feels unfair. I don't think anyone could really understand how much I loved him and how much I looked up to him. I remember him from when I was little. He was so kind and would just get so excited to see him. As we get older we grow wiser and more refined. But what I failed to realize was that it could stop at some time. That he could forget who I am.  That goodbye becomes irrelevant. Home is where the heart is, it's true. And I still believe he still knows where his heart is. I have lost what was never meant to be lost. And it happens so quietly, I didn't even notice. But it's not something you expect. Today, what is broken, no one can fix.
His immortality in my eyes instantly dissolved.
I start to forget French humor.
He fades.
At my first encounter with death, I realized that everyone will one day be gone. That he is be gone. But no matter what he will always be in my heart. I love you grandpa.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sorry I have been gone for so long. A lot has happened within the last month. Unfortunately my father-in-law-to-be passed away this week. My thoughts are with him and I hope that he is no longer in pain and that his soul can be free. I hope he knows that in the short time I knew him that I came to love him.

In other happier new MCP Actions and Designs by Amie are doing a giveaway. For an iPad 2 no less. It would really help me out and I hope I win. You all can enter too!